It’s very apparent, that she is definitely stronger then me. She always has been. I should be able to muster-up a good front, and I do. But, at the end of the day, after everyday, she is the rock who always comforts me, which it should be the other way around.
Tonight, I woke at 2:06 a.m. in the morning swearing that I am feeling those poisonous chemo drugs are starting to flow through-out my body. Like, I could actually feel the cold sensation run from my head down to my toes. But, when I realized it was just a bad dream and I glance to my right, I realized my rock was sleeping so comfortably, so deeply, without a hence of reservation.
How in the hell did we get here, I thought. Especially in such a short period of time. But, there’s no sense going down that road. Staying present is where I need to be and stay. Katie and I have a long history of fighting through life. And, this is yet another blip in our life radar, that’s all…and, I know that. But, I also know, no matter how much I fake it, my rock will always be stronger then me.
October 19th, 2017 (5 days before chemo starts)